


Ashes & Dust

by nuvoloso



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Angst, Gen, Memories
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 08:08:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21406951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuvoloso/pseuds/nuvoloso
Summary: Goku is left reeling following the revelation that he is responsible for his grandpa’s death. A maelstrom of grief threatens to overwhelm him as he continues to battle the Great Ape Vegeta.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Ashes & Dust

**Author's Note:**

> Submitted this to the 2017 Sydney SMASH! con fanfic competition. Prompt was:  
Memories warm you up from the inside. But they also tear you apart.  
\- Haruki Murakami  
This takes place during season 1, episode 32 - Spirit Bomb Away, while Goku fights Great Ape Vegeta.

_A roiling mass of ants tumbled over the rocks. It barely broke the water in the lower part of the stream, bobbing briefly before stabilising. The top most layer of ants scurried about, clambering over each other._

_“Son Goku!”_

_Scrambling, Goku got to his feet and dusted off his knees. Through the trees he saw a shadow - Grandpa Gohan and his basket, huffing their way towards him._

_“You have wandered far ahead today, Goku, I can hardly keep up. These old bones don’t work as well as they used to! We should head back, it will be dark soon.”_

_Goku laughed, his grandpa said the same thing every day, but never failed to catch up quickly._

_“What were you looking at so intently anyway?” Grandpa Gohan asked._

_“Oh!” Goku looked back to the stream, the ants still floating by lazily, “I was watching the ants. They’ve made a raft! How come none of them are drowning?”_

_The ant raft spun slowly, riding the current. Grandpa Gohan reached Goku’s side and took a steadying breath._

_“Well Goku, ants have hairs so small and thin on their bodies that bubbles of air get trapped between them. The ants at the bottom of the raft still have air to breathe, but even if they didn’t, they would do anything to protect their queen. You can see her in the middle of the raft there. All the other ants love her so much, they would give their lives for her.”_

Dirt and dust fly into the air. Goku starts, leaping from rock to rock as the memory fades. He cannot afford to lose focus. The Saiyan warrior Vegeta is too quick and lithe, even in this beastly ape form. The same form that -

No! There is no time to feel renewed waves of grief.

A great roar echoes across the island and the tower of stone under Goku’s feet explodes. He falls to the ground.

Pain splitting across his head.

_A bright, blinding light cleared to the soft blue of the sky. Where was he?_

_“Goku!”_

_The world spun. There was a puffing and putting sound to his left. A strange energy washed over him. Someone was coming!_

_Suddenly, the sky blotted out. The face of an old man came into focus. He looked frightened, panting roughly._

_“Careful! You hit your head.”_

_Goku blinked, “I… my head?” His head hurt. A fall, pain, light. That must be why._

_The old man’s breath slowly evened out. His eyebrows dropped, more concerned now, than afraid._

_“Your head. Are you okay? Can you sit up?”_

_A hand touched his shoulder and Goku felt a faint flash of irritation. It was very far away and he couldn’t remember why he should feel it. The old man was only trying to help. He let himself be brought up, swaying slightly as the world righted itself._

_The old man - Gohan, his name was Gohan - regarded him closely, worriedly, and Goku remembered._

_Earth. A blue orb hurtling ever closer through the void. Fire and heat and a loud rushing noise and -_

_Gohan. Grandpa Gohan. The first human he’d met. The first human he was supposed to destroy, to prepare for the might of the Saiyans._

_But why?_

_It all seemed so distant and confused. He was powerful beyond belief, but why should that make him a harbinger of death? The humans were not his enemies. The old - Gohan was proof enough. He cared for Goku, was afraid he’d hurt himself, even in the face of Goku’s murderous rage._

_“Goku?”_

_Blinking, Goku turned and smiled._

_“I’m okay Grandpa! My head hurts a bit, but that’s all.”_

_Gohan stilled, his eyes widening, voice quiet as he repeated, “Grandpa…”_

Tears sting Goku’s eyes and the whisper fades away. He’d always tried to live up to his grandpa’s love, as if some small part of him knew the sin for which he had to atone. And now, with this great beast crushing the life from his lungs, has he done enough? Is there still some penance left to deliver?

He could give his life (again) to protect his home, his friends, Chi-Chi, Gohan. His son. His legacy. Gohan. Growing up to be someone his namesake would be proud of. Even if Goku dies with this mark against his soul. Gohan would prevail.

Darkness begins creeping into Goku’s vision. All sound is gone from the world. The last thing he can hold onto is his pride and his love. For Gohan. Gohan.


End file.
